The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.
If you know me, you know that I love to plan and organize my life. I’m the type of girl to make resolutions every year and work toward them. I even have a mid-year check-up to make sure I’m on track. I make a mood board to help me envision my future. I recently watched a video on SkillShare called ”Designing the life you want: 4 exercises for clarity and motivation”. I found it so interesting that I decided to try the exercises myself. I will share with you my opinions on them and add some bits I believe are missing out from the video.
What I noticed doing these exercises is that there is a difference between what you want and what you need. I had this image, before watching this video, of how I wanted my life to be. In reality, that life was going against my values and would’ve required too much effort on my part as I would have to change my life completely. This exercise was eye-opening in the sense that we never know if our needs are our own or if we are fed a narrative by society.
The 80/20 rule
This rule can be applied to your life as much as it can be applied to any other field. We all know this rule when it’s related to marketing or business in general but, it can also be applied to create the life you want. If you understand this rule, it will help you optimize your time and help you get to your end goal more efficiently.
I will give you a few examples so you can understand the rule better!
80% of your wasted time comes from 20% of your distraction.
80% of your success comes from 20% of your ideas.
80% of website traffic comes from 20% of the content.
80% of innovations are produced by 20% of the population.
80% of the life you want can be achieved with 20% of the effort.
Look at your last few weeks and see what brought you the most happiness and what brought you the most sadness. Write it down in 2 columns. Basically, your happy moment are things you should do more, and your sad moments are things you should avoid. To have 80% of the life you want requires 20% effort. So focus on the good things in your life and schedule activities that bring you closer to your end goal. It will automatically cancel the negative with minimal effort.
What are your values?
This exercise allows you to reflect on the values that will dictate how you live your life and what matters to you. It’s your guideline when you have to make a decision. The key of this exercise is to choose the right values for yourself and to embrace them. For that, you should reflect on the last few years. On the times you felt the most yourself. When you weren’t hiding behind a mask. Not only when you were yourself but also when you were the happiest. And do the same for when you are at your lowest.
You will notice a pattern come out, which indicates the values that are the most in line with you.
Be careful to not choose values that you wish you had.
Vision vs Anti-vision
It’s important to write down the kind of life you don’t want as opposed to the life you want. Take the time to envision the worst-case scenario possible and write it down. This is a great motivator to start making changes. And it doesn’t have to be a broad vision; it could be as simple as planning a birthday for a loved one, starting a business, or building a new relationship.
The way to create that anti-vision plan is to ask yourself: ”what can I do to be unhappy in my life.” And to focus on your own actions rather than the unfortunate event that could eventually happen. You will then know what you should focus on right now to go as far as possible from your anti-vision. Do that for different spheres in your life such as your life, your career, your relationships, and any other aspects you want to work on.
Once that is done, you can make a list of what you can do to avoid your worst nightmare.
What does your perfect day look like?
Doing this exercise after the anti-vision lets you create a contrast between what you want and what you don’t want. What would your perfect life look like? If you envision yourself in 5 years, what would you be doing on average? This will encourage you to take action. Get into the small details from the time you wake up to the time you go back to bed.
For this exercise it’s important you try to focus on yourself and not copy someone else’s life that you wish you had.
There are a few things you should remove from life no matter the life you want and I wrote about it previously here.
It can sometimes be hard to make a change as we are creatures of habit but it’s necessary especially if you are not content with your life. Let me know in the comments section if you have tried these exercises and if they have helped you in some way! I have tried this a few week ago but I will definitely try it out another time after new year just so I can put myself on the right track for success.
Until next time,
Sofyah,
Sofyah Ov is the founder of Sofyahscorner. Through her travels, she emphasizes the art of living comfortably while adventuring, showing readers how to strike a harmonious balance between world exploration and the soft life. Having lived in 3 different continents, the writer, passionate traveler, and lifestyle enthusiast would love to teach you how you can have it all!
